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He who tells the truth must have one foot in the stirrup. - Atmenian Proverb (?)
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If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin
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A true friend stabs you in the front.
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Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit. - Oscar Wilde
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Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying. - Stephen Wright
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I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin
- He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.
- Samuel Johnson
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PHILOSOPHY: A study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently.
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The best advice I can give is to ignore advice. Life is too short to be distracted by the opinions of others. -Russell Edson
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I only drink to make other people seem interesting. - George Jean Nathan
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"Even death is unreliable," he said. "Instead of zero it may be some ghastly hallucination, such as the square root of minus one."
- Samuel Beckett
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The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to
grow sharper. - Eden Phillpotts
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Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.
- Aldous Huxley
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People who think they're superior are annot the bejesus out of those of us who are. - anyman
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The world is so dreadfully managed, one hardly knows to whom to complain. - Ronald Firbank
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A good listener is usually thinking about something else. - Kin Hubbard
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If we manage to last in spite of everything, it is because our infirmities are so many and so contradictory that they cancel each other out.
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God: a disease we imagine we have cured because no one dies of it nowadays.
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We have convictions only if we have studied nothing thoroughly.
- E. M. Cioran, The Trouble With Being Born
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Usually, terrible things that are done with that excuse that progrss requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things. - Russell Baker
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Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. - James Thurber
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Between Ennui and Ecstasy unwinds our whole experience of time.
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No one should try to live if he has not completed his training as a victim.
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You side with life only when you utter -- with all your heart -- a banality.
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For two thousand years, Jesus has revenged himself on us for not having died on a sofa.
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What anxiety when one is not sure of one's doubts and wonders: are these actually doubts?
- E. M. Cioran, All Gall is Divided: Gnomes and Apothegms
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Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity. - Goethe
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Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. - Don Marquis
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The world is divided into people who do things--and people who get the credit. - Dwight Morrow
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Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy. -Huey Long
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I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. - John Mortimer
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From new transmitters come the old stupidities.
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Grub first, then ethics. - Bertolt Brecht
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in.
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Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain
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For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed. - Clifton Fadiman
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History... that indecent alloy of banality and apocalypse.
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There is only one thing worse than boredom, and that is the fear of boredom.
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To have committed every crime but that of being a father.
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It's not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.
- E. M. Cioran
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Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
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Life's a gamble and its dealer is not your friend. But folding's a lousy option, so put on your smirk, play your hands, and ignore your shrinking stack of chips. -anyman
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They give birth astride of a grave, the light gleams an instant, then it's night once more. - Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot
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The cynics are right nine times out of ten. - Henry Louis Mencken
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Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be
amused.
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Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not. A sense of humor
to console him for what he is.
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An optimist is someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.
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Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism.
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The average man does not know what to do with his life, yet wants another one which will last forever.
- Anatole France
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Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups. - John Kenneth Galbraith
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No place affords a more striking conviction of the vanity of human hopes than a public library. - Samuel Johnson
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A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist. - Elbert Hubbard
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Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes. - Norman Douglas
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Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading. - G.M. Trevelyan
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To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. - Gustave Flaubert
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One of the keys to happiness is a real bad memory. - Rita Mae Brown
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It was such a lovely day, I thought it a pity to get up. - W. Somerset Maugham
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Everything is worth precisely as much as a belch, the difference being that a belch is more satisfying.
- Ingmar Bergman
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Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta. - Brian Aldiss
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I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. - Ashleigh Brilliant
- Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.
- Bertrand Russell
- Why shouldn't things be largely absurd, futile, and tranistory?
They are so, and we are so, and they and we go very well together.
-George Santayana
- A joke is an epitaph for an emotion.
- The thought of suicide is a great comfort. It's helped me through many a bad night.
- Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
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I can sympathize with people's pains but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness.
- Aldous Huxley
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Is it possible to locate and position all the personae one contains in such a way as to lose all fear? He turns himself into a game of chess and plays
himself to a draw.
- Elias Canetti
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All kinds of frankness and honesty are terrible crimes in the eyes of
society.
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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At the beginning of a pestilence and when it ends, there's a propensity for rhetoric. In the first case, habits have not yet been lost; in
the second, they're returning. It is in the thick of a calamity that one hardens to the truth - in other words, to silence. So let's wait.
- Albert Camus, The Plague
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All things in nature are lyrical in their ideal essence, comic in their existence and tragic in their fate.
- George Santayana
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One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they're hanged.
- Heinrich Heine
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The right to suffer is one of the joys of a free economy. - Howard Pyle
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Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.
- Bernard Berenson
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Democracy consists of choosing your own dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear.
- Alan Coren
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Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity. - Frank Leahy
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Up to 30 times more people are buried in the earth than presently living.
- answers.com
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Life is judged with all the blindness of life itself. - George Santayana
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Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody. - Benjamin Franklin
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Once one has an idea, one finds it everywhere. - Victor Hugo, Notre-Dame de Paris
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